how's it going then?

So, there have been alot of things on my mind that I haven't written about, and now I forget most of them! Oh well...
Lost a half a kilo this week, and I guess that's nothing to sneeze at but somehow its just not as rewarding as the kilos and 1.5 kilos that I used to get. According to my online tracker .5 is now my average. That makes it my new goal to keep it that way. There have been 2 gains and a couple stay the sames since I joined online in April. Just keep swimming!
Very happy that the water aerobics have started up again this week, been twice already. (thanks hubby!!)
Went shopping for clothes again yesterday. I find it really hard to pick my size in the second hand stores these days. The sizing is completely crazy here because clothes are coming from Europe, North America and China, all of which have their own sizing system, so that's no help, but I used to be able to more or less pick my size by looking at them. Now I pull something off the rack and I'm almost embarrassed to carry it back to the change rooms because I'm sure someone is going to look at me and think "who is she kidding? that will never fit her!" And then even as I'm trying it on I'm thinking as I put my arms or legs in "by the time this reaches my tummy I won't be able to pull it on the rest of the way!" and its totally weird when it does :) I bought three jumpers (sweaters) and a wall/winter coat. Still couldn't find a pair of jeans. I'm down to 2 (two!!!) pairs of pants that fit and they both require constant tugging to keep them up. Not that I'm complaining :)

I haven't been very active on the WW boards recently. Honestly, I'm finding it a bit discouraging welcoming back all the people who are on atempt 2 or 3. I mean absolutely no disrespect to those ladies and I sincerely wish them all the best at it this time around. I'm writting about this here not there because the last thing I would want to do is discourage any of them, but this is my blog and the place for me to think through my thoughts. I think the reason I find it discouraging is the assumption that no one ever gets it the first time around. This is my first try at WW (except for when I had to stop when I got pregnant, but I still consider this a continuation of the same journey). Its really my first time at weight loss too, I've fluctuated up and down over the years (mostly up!) but never made a deliberate effort to get to a goal weight. But I read about these other ladies multiple attempts and I feel like maybe I'm fooling myself about doing this right the first time, and it makes me doubt if it really works if they can't do it. I mean if only a small percentage of those who start out make it what makes me think I'll be one of the lucky few? Its kinda the anti-thesis to reading the success stories. I don't want to judge second or third timers or resent them so I'm kinda laying off the message boards for a while.