gain again :(

Yes, I did gain this week, and a lot!!! :( Monday morning weigh in was back up to 91.6!! Felt awful. Couple of things happened this week but it wasn't going over my points that got me. I think that last weeks huge loss was not actually real, just as I suspected after being sick my body fought back to an equalibrium. So some of that loss was not actual loss, and also some of this monday's gain was not actual gain either, just a bit bloated as I weighed in at 91.0 the next morning. Thank goodness for mid-week checks! It helps me understand that ups and downs from day to day as much as a kilo are just normal and part of this whole game. THe point is to keep going, changes are only visable in the long term, like monthly, but habits are formed in the daily. So on one hand I'd like to say I'm only going to weigh in once a month, but on the other hand I know that that won't keep me motivated daily. Weekly is probably the best balance.

African peanut fish stew 2.5 points plus rice

Had a guest tonight who teaches English here. He's from Cameroon and hasn't been there in over a year. So I decided to do something new. I got brave and looked up Cameroon's national dish online! I found a few recipes and some instructions, went to the market for ingredients ( had to substitute a few) and gave it a try. I thought it was very yummy, but I don't dare call it Ndole, that would be presumptious, so I'm calling it African peanut fish stew. And I was very pleased to find out it only worked out to 2.5 points per serve! (plus rice).

Boil the stalks and leaves of two turnips (the original is bitterleaf, but I don't know where to find that outside of Africa)
Fry an onion and garlic, and add 4 chopped tomatoes, add this into the soup mixture.
Grind up 80-100 g of salted roasted peanuts till they are kinda half chopped and pour in
half a hot pepper
salt and pepper to taste

Let this simmer for a while to build the flavours

Add 2 fish fillets chopped in bite sized pieces, and stop stirring so as to not break them up as they cook.

Serve over rice and garnish with dried banana slices and parsley.

The taste was so different! I always think of peanuts as a sweet item, but they were awesome in this stew. I let it boil down more than I should and so didn't have as much stock as would have been nice. Overall I loved it! I don't think our African guest was as impressed as I accidently led him up to think by telling him I had tried to make his country's national dish! but he seemed to enjoy it.

being sick

whopping big loss this week! 1.5kg! just when I was complaining that I couldn't loose it like I used to :)
I've been sick this week with lots of aches and pains, headaches etc. Earlier this week I got to water aerobics a couple times, and then during my sick days (no stomach problems) I just didn't have much of an appetite. My poor family got the most boringest food this week :( But I managed to stop eating when my tummy was full.
Little concerned that this big loss will lead into a small gain next week, (why am I such a pessimist?). Last time I was sick it was early in the week and I noticed that my body balanced itself out by gaining a little in the days after I felt better. This time I had weigh in right after being sick, so we'll see.
Actually, I was almost ready to buy a pregnancy test it felt so much like morning sickness. Even the "stinky fridge" problem I've had with both my pregnancies. My period came right on schedule, but could it have been? guess theres really no point in wondering...

how's it going then?

So, there have been alot of things on my mind that I haven't written about, and now I forget most of them! Oh well...
Lost a half a kilo this week, and I guess that's nothing to sneeze at but somehow its just not as rewarding as the kilos and 1.5 kilos that I used to get. According to my online tracker .5 is now my average. That makes it my new goal to keep it that way. There have been 2 gains and a couple stay the sames since I joined online in April. Just keep swimming!
Very happy that the water aerobics have started up again this week, been twice already. (thanks hubby!!)
Went shopping for clothes again yesterday. I find it really hard to pick my size in the second hand stores these days. The sizing is completely crazy here because clothes are coming from Europe, North America and China, all of which have their own sizing system, so that's no help, but I used to be able to more or less pick my size by looking at them. Now I pull something off the rack and I'm almost embarrassed to carry it back to the change rooms because I'm sure someone is going to look at me and think "who is she kidding? that will never fit her!" And then even as I'm trying it on I'm thinking as I put my arms or legs in "by the time this reaches my tummy I won't be able to pull it on the rest of the way!" and its totally weird when it does :) I bought three jumpers (sweaters) and a wall/winter coat. Still couldn't find a pair of jeans. I'm down to 2 (two!!!) pairs of pants that fit and they both require constant tugging to keep them up. Not that I'm complaining :)

I haven't been very active on the WW boards recently. Honestly, I'm finding it a bit discouraging welcoming back all the people who are on atempt 2 or 3. I mean absolutely no disrespect to those ladies and I sincerely wish them all the best at it this time around. I'm writting about this here not there because the last thing I would want to do is discourage any of them, but this is my blog and the place for me to think through my thoughts. I think the reason I find it discouraging is the assumption that no one ever gets it the first time around. This is my first try at WW (except for when I had to stop when I got pregnant, but I still consider this a continuation of the same journey). Its really my first time at weight loss too, I've fluctuated up and down over the years (mostly up!) but never made a deliberate effort to get to a goal weight. But I read about these other ladies multiple attempts and I feel like maybe I'm fooling myself about doing this right the first time, and it makes me doubt if it really works if they can't do it. I mean if only a small percentage of those who start out make it what makes me think I'll be one of the lucky few? Its kinda the anti-thesis to reading the success stories. I don't want to judge second or third timers or resent them so I'm kinda laying off the message boards for a while.