not the best start to the new year :S

So, after an awesome Christmas loss I have promptly followed that with a new years gain :S I am not happy about that. Why do I go up and down like this? Some of it is water retention. I am also 4 days late but the test comes up negative. I'm sure that has something to do with this weeks gain, both physically and emotionally. Kinda not sure where I am right now.